Looking Back... In an effort to transfer my book journal entries over to this blog, I'm going to attempt to post (in chronological order) an entry every Friday. I may or may not add extra commentary to what I jotted down in these journals.

Black and Blue by Anna Quindlen
Fiction
1999 Dell Publishing Company (first published in 1998)
Finished in April 1999
Rating: 4/5 (Very Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

With this stunning novel about a woman and a marriage that begins in passion and becomes violent, the Pulitzer Prize--winning journalist and bestselling author of "One True Thing" and "Object Lessons" moves to a new dimension as a writer of superb fiction. "If literature were judged solely by its ability to elicit strong emotions, " Kirkus Reviews said about "One True Thing," "columnist-cum-novelist Quindlen would win another Pulitzer." And the same will be said about "Black and Blue," a brilliant novel of suspense, substance, and importance.

In "Black and Blue," Fran Benedetto tells a spellbinding story: how at 19 she fell in love with Bobby Benedetto, how their passionate marriage became a nightmare, why she stayed, and what happened on the night she finally decided to run away with her 10-year-old son and start a new life under a new name. Living in fear in Florida--yet with increasing confidence, freedom, and hope--Fran unravels the complex threads of family, identity, and desire that shape a woman's life, even as she begins to create a new one. As Fran starts to heal from the pain of the past, she almost believes she has escaped it--that Bobby Benedetto will not find her and again provoke the complex combustion between them of attraction and destruction, lust and love. "Black and Blue" is a beautifully written, heart-stopping story in which Anna Quindlen writes with power, wisdom, and humor about the real lives of men and women, the varieties of people and love, the bonds between mother and child, the solace of family and friendship, the inexplicable feelings between people who are passionately connected in ways they don't understand.


My Original Notes (1999):

If a book about spousal abuse can be good, this one was. Quindlen really put a face on the life of a battered woman without going into too many gory details. She focused more on the life after rather than the life during the abuse. She managed to make me understand why a woman would stay with her husband, in spite of the cruelty. I think the conclusion was a little too pat - too neat and tidy - but then again, I do like happy endings. And it was a perfect ending. I enjoy Quindlen's writing style and look forward to more of her books.

My Current Thoughts:

This may have been the second book of Quindlen's that I read in the late 90s. Little did I know she would become one of my favorite authors. I'm not sure I could reread this particular novel, though. 

California Road Trip 2019 - Santa Rosa

Friday, September 6, 2019
Myers Flat to Santa Rosa, CA
Sue & Rob's
Distance: 173
Duration: 2 nights
Cost: Moochdocking - Free
Weather: Sunny and warm (upper 70s)

Giant Redwood RV Park was very quiet and we slept great! It would have been nice to have booked two nights so we could enjoy it a little longer, relaxing in the sunshine reading or taking a long walk along the river, but our schedule south was pretty solid and we were anxious to get down to Santa Rosa to visit my aunt and uncle. We had another easy day of driving down Highway 101, stopping in Ukiah to fuel up at Costco.

We arrived at Sue & Rob's mid-afternoon and had a fun, relaxing evening catching up with them. I think there might have been quite a bit of wine, music and laughter involved.

The following day was cool and misty, but the sun eventually came out and we headed over to Sebastopol for fish tacos at Handline, our favorite restaurant in the area. Delicious!

Handline fish tacos

Love this backyard!

Delicious!

Uncle Rob

Jam session

Peaceful moochdocking site

The gang

It's always so nice to hang out with my aunt and uncle. They are very laid-back and we could easily spend days relaxing in their garden, chatting about everything under the sun. Every visit feels too short and we look forward to our next trip south. 

California Road Trip 2019 - Giant Redwoods RV & Camp

Thursday, September 5, 2019
Klamath to Myers Flat, CA
Giant Redwoods RV & Camp
Site #36
Distance: 130 miles
Duration: 1 night
Cost: $60
Weather: Sunny and low 80s

It was super foggy when we woke up, so no pretty sunrise over the river or mountains. We were on the road by 10:30 and had a nice leisurely drive down Highway 101. 

Klamath River

I had read about Patrick's Point State Park, which is north of Eureka, so we decided to drive through the park to see if we'd like to stay there some time in the future. There are no hookups, but it's pretty, especially the Abalone loop, which has the most trees. We stopped for lunch in Ferndale at No Brand Burger Stand and had hamburgers (grass-fed beef) that were just as good as the ones we had at CC Cafe in Crescent City. 

We'll be back!

Once we reached Myers Flat, we weren't quite sure what we were in for with our plans to stay at the Giant Redwoods RV & Camp, as we had to drive through a sketchy neighborhood to reach the entrance, but once inside their gated campground, we were pleasantly surprised. The park is situated on the Eel River with plenty of pines and redwood trees. It was quite warm (82 degrees), so we relaxed outside, enjoying our drinks before fixing dinner. 

Lots of privacy between the huge redwoods.

A very low Eel River.

The park has all the usual amenities: Full hookups, gravel pad (fairly level), fire ring, picnic table, free showers, decent Sprint & Verizon and excellent WiFi. There are no trails for biking or hiking, but the park is very peaceful and would be nice for a couple of days, especially if we needed connectivity, although the price per night is a little on the high end. Overall, a nice RV park with very friendly staff.

Devotion

Devotion: A Memoir by Dani Shapiro
Nonfiction - Memoir
2010 HarperCollins
Finished on December 3, 2019
Rating: 4.5/5 (Very Good)

I was a yeshiva-educated, overly assimilated Jew who still dreamed and prayed in Hebrew but could no longer speak a word of it. My desire to belong to a shul was all tied up with my love of my father--but he was long gone. I was a yogi, a tentative Buddhist, a meditator, a mom searching for meaning.

Publisher's Blurb:

In her midforties and settled into the responsibilities and routines of adulthood, Dani Shapiro found herself with more questions than answers. Was this all life was--a hodgepodge of errands, dinner dates, e-mails, meetings, to-do lists? What did it all mean?

Having grown up in a deeply religious and traditional family, Shapiro had no personal sense of faith, despite repeated attempts to create a connection to something greater. Feeling as if she was plunging headlong into what Carl Jung termed "the afternoon of life," she wrestled with her self-doubt and a searing disquietude that would awaken her in the middle of the night. Set adrift by loss-her father's early death; the life-threatening illness of her infant son; her troubled relationship with her mother--she had become edgy and uncertain. At the heart of this anxiety, she realized, was a challenge: What did she believe? Spurred on by the big questions her young son began to raise, Shapiro embarked upon a surprisingly joyful quest to find meaning in a constantly changing world. The result is Devotion: a literary excavation to the core of a life.

In this spiritual detective story, Shapiro explores the varieties of experience she has pursued--from rituals of her black hat Orthodox Jewish relatives to yoga shala and meditation retreats. A reckoning of the choices she has made and the knowledge she has gained, Devotion is the story of a woman whose search for meaning ultimately leads her home. Her journey is at once poignant and funny, intensely personal--and completely universal.

It's been at least a dozen years since I read Dani Shapiro's novel, Family History, and sadly, I don't remember anything about the book other than I liked it enough keep an eye out for more by this author. I picked up one of her memoirs (Slow Motion) earlier this year, but found it too depressing and gave up after 60 pages. I've had a copy of Devotion on my shelf for several years and decided to give it a try for Nonfiction November and am happy to say that I loved it! This beautifully written memoir spoke to me on several levels and while some might disparage Shapiro's navel-gazing, I was inspired by her honesty and desire to rediscover her spirituality, not only through the traditions of her Jewish faith, but with the incorporation of yoga and meditation, as well. 

Passages of Note:

I had reached the middle of my life and knew less than I ever had. Michael, Jacob, and I lived on top of a hill, surrounded by old trees, a vegetable garden, stone walls. From the outside, things looked pretty good. But deep inside myself, I had begun to quietly fall apart. Nights, I quivered in the darkness like a wounded animal. Something was very wrong, but I didn't know what it was. All I knew was that I felt terribly anxious and unsteady. Doomed. Each morning I drove Jacob down a dirt road to his sweet little school. We all got yearly physicals. Our well water was tested for contaminants. Nothing--absolutely nothing I could put my finger on--was the matter. Except that I was often on the verge of tears. Except that it seemed that there had to be more than this hodgepodge of the everyday. Inside each joy was a hard kernel of sadness, as if I was always preparing myself for impending loss.

and

Turn right, turn left. Stay home that day. Take a different route. Cross the street for no apparent reason. Say yes, say no. Get up from the breakfast table, slip into the elevator just as the doors are closing. Book the afternoon flight. Drive exactly sixty-three miles per hour. Flip a coin. Call it coincidence, luck, fate, destiny, randomness. Some would call it the hand of God. I was sure what to call it. What I did know is that this was a huge, blinking neon sign I couldn't ignore or dismiss. All these seemingly disconnected bits--a new yoga class, a teacher's particular selection of a poem, the wonders of Google and Amazon, an impulsive one-click purchase, an agreement to participate in a local charity event--all these formed a pattern, invisible to see. Do this, a gentle voice seemed to be saying. Now this. And now this. All of which had led me to be seated next to Stephen Cope: author, yogi, scholar--and director of the Institute for Extraordinary Living at Kripalu.

and 

"Metta meditation," she went on, "is a concentration practice. It's the protection formula that the Buddha taught the monks: one of being able to depend on your own good heart. So"--she clasped her hands together--"how do we do this? By tempering one's own heart and restoring it to balance. Metta is a practice of inclining the mind in the direction of good will."

Sylvia [Boorstein] then laid out for us her four favorite phrases--variations on the Buddha's original phrases--to chant silently during metta: 

May I feel protected and safe.

May I feel contented and pleased.

May my physical body support me with strength.

May my life unfold smoothly with ease.

The idea was to silently repeat the phrases again and again, at first focusing on ourselves, but then eventually directing the phrases to others: our closest teachers and benefactors; then our loved ones; our friends; strangers; and eventually--after much practice--to those with whom we have difficult relationships, or as it is known in Buddhist scripture, our enemies.

and 

Writers often say that the hardest part of writing isn't the writing itself; it's the sitting down to write. The same is true of yoga, meditation, and prayer. The sitting down, the making space. The doing. It sounds so simple, doesn't it? Unroll the mat. Sit cross-legged on the floor. Just do it. Close your eyes and express a silent need, a wish, a moment of gratitude. What's so hard about that? Except--it is hard. The usual distractions--the clutter and piles of life--are suddenly, unusually enticing. The worst of it, I've come to realize, is that the thing that stops me--the shadow that casts a cold darkness across the best of my intentions--isn't the puppy, the e-mail, the UPS truck, the school conference, the phone, the laundry, the to-do lists. It's me that stops me. Things get stuck, the osteopath once said with a shrug. He gestured to the area where the neck meets the head. The place where the body ends and the mind begins. Things get stuck. It sounded so simple when he said it. It's me, and the things that are stuck. Standing in my way.

and

May I be safe.

May I be happy.

May I be strong.

May I live with ease.

I recently asked Sylvia why she had simplified the metta phrases. I knew there had to be a reason. She smiled at me, then beyond me, as if looking over my shoulder into the distance. She nodded, as she often did before formulating a response.

"I wanted something I would always be able to say--in old age, in sickness--and have it be realistic," she said. "No matter what happens, I can always wish for strength."

I'm glad I didn't let my disappointment in Slow Motion sway my decision to skip reading Devotion. This inspiring memoir is one I plan to share with my yogi friends and return to in the future. I'm eager to read Shapiro's most recent memoir, Inheritance, and may even give Slow Motion another try. 

California Road Trip 2019 - Klamath River RV Park

Wednesday, September 4, 2019
Bandon, OR to Klamath, CA
Klamath River RV Park
Site #72
Distance: 137 miles
Duration: 1 night
Cost: $55 (riverfront)
Weather: Sunny and upper 60s

Travel day, although with the short distance to our next stop, we took our time packing up, enjoying our morning routine of coffee, breakfast and news/emails. We could have stayed as late as 1pm, but wanted to get to our next spot so we could enjoy our time there, especially since it was for only one night.

We had a fairly easy drive with just a little wind and a few delays due to road construction. We stopped for lunch at CC Diner in Crescent City. A friend had mentioned that they served great cheeseburgers, so we decided to give it a try. Oh, yum! I think we talked about this restaurant for the next two months, comparing every hamburger we ate to the ones we had at CC's. We had no other reason to stop in Crescent City, but it was definitely worth the stop and we'll go again whenever we are passing through the area.

Delicious!

We continued down Highway 101, chuckling at the huge Paul Bunyan (and Babe) statue at Trees of Mystery, which we've driven past several times. Some of the tourist attractions in this area leave us shaking our heads, wondering why anyone would stop. After reading some of the reviews, maybe we missed out on something fun and educational. Perhaps next time.

Trees of Mystery

Redwood National and State Parks

We made our way to the Klamath River RV Park, located in Klamath, California (not to be confused with Klamath Falls, Oregon). The park is similar to Point Hudson in Port Townsend, with sites on a relatively flat grassy area, facing the water and fairly close together. We had full hookups, laundry, showers (free) and, surprisingly, decent Sprint service. Verizon, however, was nonexistent. This is pretty rare for me to have connectivity and not Rod, but it makes me happy that we have continued to have both providers for just this situation.

We got situated, chatted with one of our neighbors, took a walk around the campground and picked some blackberries. It was nice to relax and enjoy our evening drinks in the warm sun, gazing out at the river where a few guys were fishing from the shoreline. One couple we talked to mentioned that a bear had been in the park the previous day, but we never saw any sign of him on either of our walks that day. The park was at about 75% capacity, but fairly quiet and we had a restful night.

Riverfront sites

Klamath River

Beautiful afternoon!

Cheers! 

A healthier dinner (for two)
after our huge lunch.

A Month in Summary - November 2019

Little Whale Cove

Depoe Bay, Oregon

November 2019

Well, that was quite a month! In spite of all the craziness that popped up during the last two weeks (see my post here), I managed to get in a lot of reading and stuck with my personal challenge to read only nonfiction. Nonfiction November is always a fun blogging challenge to follow, and I wind up adding a lot of titles to my TBR list, but I'm not an official participant. My favorite of the month? I'd Rather Be Reading by Anne Bogel. She really gets us readers!

Books Read in November (click on title for my review):

Wish You Were Here by Stewart O'Nan

Forty Autumns by Nina Willner

Mister Owita's Guide to Gardening by Carol Wall

I'd Rather Be Reading by Anne Bogel

Dinner with Edward by Isabel Vincent

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King

First Lines:

They took Arlene's car because it had air-conditioning and Emily wasn't sure the Olds would make it. That and Arlene's was bigger, a wagon, better for bringing things back.

Emily knew she wouldn't be able to resist. She'd never learned to take even the smallest loss gracefully--a glass cracked in the dishwasher, a sweater shrunk by the dryer. She'd stuff the Taurus full of junk she didn't have room for at home. All of it would end up down in the basement, moldering next to the extra fridge still filled to clinking with Henry's Iron Citys. She didn't drink beer, and she couldn't bring herself to twist them open one by one and tip them foaming down the sink, so they stayed there, the crimped edges of the bottle caps going rusty, giving her vegetables a steely tinge. She would save what she could, she knew, though Henry himself would have shaken his head at the mess. (Wish You Were Here)

Our story started when one war ended and another began. 

The day World War II ended, my grandmother, Oma, was one of the first in the village to emerge from the underground cellar and step out into the still and desolate landscape of rural Schwaneberg. At forty years old, her belly swollen with her seventh child, she hoisted open the heavy wooden door and climbed up onto the dry, dusty landing as her children followed, squinting as their eyes met the daylight. (Forty Autumns)

I never liked getting my hands dirty. This was one reason that our yard looked so sad. But there were other reasons, too--bigger reasons that were much harder to confront than brittle grass and overgrown bushes. (Mister Owita's Guide to Gardening)

"Can you recommend a great book?"

Because I'm a writer, certified book nerd, and all-around bookish enthusiast, people ask me this question all the time. I talk about books like it's my job--and in a sense, it is. I make book recommendations all day. (I'd Rather Be Reading)

I heard about the promise Edward made to his dying wife long before I met him.

Valerie, Edward's daughter and one of my oldest friends, related the story when I saw her shortly after her mother's death. Paula, who was just shy of her ninety-fifth birthday had been bedridden and drifting in and out of consciousness for days, sat up in bed specifically to address her beloved husband.

"Listen to me, Eddie." Paula spoke firmly, emphatically. "You can't come with me now. It would be the end of our little family." (Dinner with Edward)

I was stunned by Mary Karr's memoir, The Liars' Club. Not just by its ferocity, its beauty, and by her delightful grasp of the vernacular, but by its totality--she is a woman who remembers everything about her early years. (On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft)

Movies and TV Shows:

Echo in the Canyon - I love music documentaries, particularly those of the 60s, and this one didn't disappoint. I could happily watch it again.

El Camino - We loved Breaking Bad, but this follow-up movie was a big disappointment. I was tempted to turn it off halfway in, but stuck with it. Meh.

Saving Private Ryan - We've watched this a few times and it never gets any easier to sit through those opening scenes of the battle on Omaha Beach. Excellent cast.

Avengers Endgame - Loved it until the end.

The Vietnam War (Ken Burns) - Burns is simply a genius when it comes to documentaries. We have watched several of his programs, but I think this is possibly his best. It's a depressing topic, but there is so much about Vietnam that I didn't know until I watched this show. If I were a high school history teacher, I would be sure to include this series in my lesson plans. 

Puzzlemania - 

This one was quite challenging!

Outings and Trips:

We haven't done much in the way of outings or trips since we returned from our road trip. The only outings of note were to Corvallis when my husband wound up in the hospital with pancreatitis and a severe gall bladder attack. Four days later, I was able to bring him home where he has been recovering as he figures out what he can eat. Thank goodness this didn't happen on our trip or during our daughter's wedding!

Rod wasn't the only one in our household to wind up in an ER this month. My 86-year-old mother had been battling a terrible cold/cough and it became much worse one night, so we call 911 and she was taken to the ER where she was diagnosed with viral pneumonia. She was released two days later after several breathing treatments and rounds of antibiotics and is now recuperating at home with us.

We are grateful for all the wonderful doctors and amazing nursing staff at both ERs and hospitals!

Visitors:

My brother and his family came down from Seattle for a three-day visit and our next-door neighbors joined all of us for our Thanksgiving feast. It was a lovely day and yes, we ate too much!

We have so much for which to be grateful. At the top of our list is family, friends and our health.

Happy Holidays!