When My Time Comes

 

When My Time Comes: Conversations About Whether Those Who Are Dying Should Have the Right to Determine When Life Should End by Diane Rehm

Nonfiction

2020 Random House Audio

Read by the author and contributing guests

Finished on September 19, 2020

Rating: 4/5 (Very Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

From Diane Rehm, renowned radio host - one of the most trusted voices in the nation - and best-selling author: an audiobook of candor and compassion, addressing the urgent, hotly contested cause of the Right-to-Die movement, of which she is one of our most inspiring champions. 

Soon to be a public television documentary of the same name, featuring the author.

Through interviews with terminally ill patients, and with physicians, ethicists, spouses, relatives, and representatives of those who vigorously oppose the movement, Rehm gives voice to a broad range of people who are personally linked to the realities of medical aid in dying. The audiobook presents the fervent arguments - both for and against - that are propelling the current debates across the nation about whether to adopt laws allowing those who are dying to put an end to their suffering. With characteristic even-handedness, Rehm skillfully shows both sides of the argument, providing the full context for this highly divisive issue.

With a highly personal foreword by John Grisham, When My Time Comes is a response to many misconceptions and misrepresentations of end-of-life care; it is a call to action - and to conscience - and it is an attempt to heal and soothe our hearts, reminding us that death, too, is an integral part of life.

I've been listening to NPR for almost 30 years and it was there that I first heard The Diane Rehm Show and quickly became a fan of this intelligent and charming woman. I've had my eye on a couple of her earlier books (Finding My Voice and On My Own), but it wasn't until I spotted her latest release of When My Time Comes that I decided it was time to finally read one of her books. I downloaded the audiobook and was quickly engrossed in the interviews. Rehm discusses the subject of death with dignity (also known as medical aid in dying) with two dozen individuals, handling the interviews with compassion and empathy, even with those with whom she disagrees. Her emotions are true and her kindness authentic as she speaks with family members who describe the intimate details of their loved ones' final days. She asks personal questions, yet doesn't probe gratuitously. She is one class act.

Five years ago, I read Being Mortal, Atul Gawande's eye-opening book on the elderly, nursing homes and death. His exploration of how we treat our aging parents was a valuable lesson and one that shaped not only my mother's future, but also mine and my husband's. We moved from Lincoln, Nebraska to the Oregon Coast in 2017 after my husband retired. With her blessing, we decided to move in with my mom (who was 84 at the time), thus allowing her to remain in her beautiful home, near her friends and community. Like Gawande's bestseller, Diane Rehm's book has given me a lot to think about with regard to aging and end of life choices. Rehm asks each interviewee what they believe is a good death and I would like to think that my father and stepfather (both of whom died of cancer) died the way they wished, surrounded by family, in their own homes, under the care of Hospice. That is my wish, as well.

As I listened to the book, I kept wanting to highlight specific passages to discuss with my husband, so a print copy is on order. However, I'm glad I listened to the audiobook, which reminded me of Rehm's radio show. I'm anxious to tune in to her podcast, On My Mind, as well as view the documentary based on this new book, which will be available for viewing in January 2021. When My Time Comes and Being Mortal would be great companion reads, leading to deep discussions on how we feel about the final chapters of our lives. Highly recommend!

Note to self: When asked which celebrity or famous person in history I would choose to have at a dinner party, don't forget to include Diane Rehm!