A few days ago, I learned that my dear friend, Nan of Letters from a Hill Farm passed away on Sunday, September 21st. The last day of summer.
I am heartbroken.
I've known Nan since sometime between 1996/1997. We met in an online book group called Bookstacks.com (which eventually became Books.com). We were instant friends, exchanging private emails with two others (Kay of Kay's Reading Life, and Teri, who is not a blogger). Our friendship began with our love of reading, but evolved into that of friends who shared the joys and sorrows of life. We wrote about raising our children, home life, spouses, careers, retirement, health issues, aging parents, the joys of grandparenthood, and everything else that close friends share. I only spoke with Nan on the phone a handful of times, and we never met in person, but we were kindred spirits. Nearly 30 years of a very special and meaningful friendship.
Last year, Nan wrote on her blog:
If you have been blogging for a long time, you have made friends who mean as much to you as people you know in "real life". And the long time of blogging means that we have all gotten older, with the sad facts that may go along with it. Sickness. Death.Some of my beloved blogging friends have lost their husbands And today I read that a woman I have been in touch with for a long time died. Her daughter posted on her blog.I cried as if I had known her in my everyday life, because of course I did. It is made even harder because I have been away so much in the past year. If she was sick, I didn't even know. I've emailed her daughter.I know a lot of you have been through this, too. The blogging world is slower, quieter than what came after it. That is why I love it and continue on. It lifts me up, teaches me, offers friendships, and sometimes brings sadness.
I could write pages about Nan's love of music, and our shared love for singer songwriters such as Kris Kristofferson, John Prine, and Van Morrison. About Van the Man:
If I had to choose just one musician to listen to throughout eternity, it would be Van. I believe someday, long, long after I have departed this earth, he will be taught in colleges along with Yeats and all the other great poets who have ever lived. His work encompasses all human emotion from the depths of melancholy to the heights of ecstasy. He writes love songs and loss songs and spiritual songs and nostalgic songs.
Nan also wrote about George Winston's beautiful album, December, and she and I would both listen to it every year on the 1st of December. I will think of her with love each and every time I listen to Winston's beautiful music.
Nan blogged regularly about her love of baking, posting 371 "Food & Drink" posts over the years. I could easily picture her in her kitchen since she so often shared photos as she baked or of the final treat on her lovely Fiesta dinnerware.
She was a lover of animals, often sharing photos and stories of her dogs, cats, and farm animals (chickens, sheep, goats, and donkeys!).
She enjoyed the simple pleasures of hanging laundry outside on a clothesline, or working in her vegetable and flower gardens. She had such a green thumb, and I especially enjoyed seeing photos of her daylilies.
Her evenings were quietly spent watching TV while enjoying a Cosmopolitan. She was the first to recommend to me shows such as As Time Goes By and New Tricks, as well as many others.
And of course, there was her wonderful take on "Mrs. Bayle's weather report." She was a cold weather girl, and was always happy to let us know when the first snow fell.
Nan often shared photos of her cozy home, with full bookshelves and comfortable furniture. I've never been to Windy Poplars Farm, but I feel as if I have spent many hours there, chatting with Nan over a cup of coffee or tea.
She and I didn't have similar taste in books or movies - she preferred older works to my contemporary authors - but we occasionally agreed (Stuart O'Nan, Rosamunde Pilcher, Rick Bragg, Fannie Flagg, Laurie Colwin, Helene Hanff, Susan Hill, and Deborah Crombie, to name a few), swapping books back and forth through the mail. She gave me a copy of Evenings at Five, which I recently re-read. The cover art is so Nan!
And of course, the most important thing to Nan was her family. Her life with her husband, Tom, her children, Margaret & Michael, and her grandchildren brought her the greatest joy. Oh, how her love for all of them shone through in her emails and blog posts!
The Cuddihy Family 1996
(Taken around the time I first met Nan)
Nan enriched my life not only through her love of good books and music, but also poetry and wonderful quotations.
Warm be the love that surrounds you,Good be your friends, and true,Constant be hope and promise,Useful the work you do,Close be your family around you,Good health be yours day by day,Long be the life you're living,And full of much joy on the way.
She also loved Gladys Taber, Tasha Tudor, and Susan Branch.
When I get to Heaven, I am not going to put on golden shoes or cast down golden crowns around a glassy sea or play on my harp. No, I am going to eat all the hot bread and potatoes I want. Cinnamon rolls, pinwheel biscuits, nut muffins, French-fried potatoes, baked potatoes, creamy mashed potatoes. Potato fluff. Butter will go well, too. And fresh-made jam. Or clear amber honey. Gladys Taber
'I suppose I am a sparrow, a stay-at-home bird.' Gladys Taber
On her 3rd blogging anniversary, Nan wrote:
I'm not a 'book blogger' or a 'food blogger' or a 'garden blogger.' I just write my letters. I'm still spending my time writing book reports or posting recipes or poems or quotes or music. Occasionally Mrs. Bale pops in when there is something interesting in the 'Irish Sea' - oops I mean northern New England. The thing I love the very most is connecting with all of you. I love your comments and your emails. I'm so pleased when you take time out of your busy day to say hi, or recommend a book, or tell me you love the music or the recipe. Blogging has brought me incredible joy and knowledge. I thank each of you. (November 22, 2009)
Thank you, Nan, for bringing me, and our fellow bloggers, so much incredible joy, knowledge, and love.
Ta-ta, my beautiful friend. You will be missed beyond measure.
In one of her last comments to me, Nan wrote, "It was the most amazing thing to come upon people who thought as I did, especially about reading and books and life. It felt like a little miracle. It was like, whew, someone understands."
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