Keep Moving

Keep Moving: Notes on Loss, Creativity, and Change by Maggie Smith

Nonfiction

2020

Finished on August 16, 2025

Rating: 4/5 (Very Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

For fans of Anne Lamott and Cleo Wade, a collection of quotes and essays on facing life’s challenges with creativity, courage, and resilience.

When Maggie Smith, the award-winning author of the viral poem “Good Bones,” started writing daily Twitter posts in the wake of her divorce, they unexpectedly caught fire. In this deeply moving book of quotes and essays, Maggie writes about new beginnings as opportunities for transformation. Like kintsugi, the Japanese art of mending broken ceramics with gold, Keep Moving celebrates the beauty and strength on the other side of loss. This is a book for anyone who has gone through a difficult time and is wondering: What comes next?

Last winter I was introduced to Maggie Smith's writing when I encountered her outstanding memoir, You Could Make This Place Beautiful. I was so captivated with her writing that I immediately ordered a copy of Keep Moving, Smith's earlier book of essays and quotations. Rather than read it cover-to-cover in a few days, I decided to devote several months to the book, reading two or three pages at a time. It's a wonderful book for anyone dealing with loss, whether that be due to divorce or the death of a loved one.

Yeah, No. Not Happening.

 

Yeah, No. Not Happening.: How I Found Happiness Swearing Off Self-Improvement and Saying F*ck It All--and How You Can Too by Karen Karbo

Nonfiction

2020 HarperAudio

Narrated by the author

Finished on December 21, 2021

Rating: 1/5 (Poor)

Publisher's Blurb:

The author of the acclaimed, bestselling In Praise of Difficult Women delivers a hilarious feminist manifesto that encourages us to reject “self-improvement” and instead learn to appreciate and flaunt our complex, and flawed, human selves.

Why are we so obsessed with being our so-called best selves? Because our modern culture force feeds women lies designed to heighten their insecurities: “You can do it all—crush it at work, at home, in the bedroom, at PTA and at Pilates—and because you can, you should. We can show you how!”

Karen Karbo has had enough. She’s taking a stand against the cultural and societal pressures, marketing, and media influences that push us to spend endless time, energy and money trying to “fix” ourselves—a race that has no finish line and only further increases our send of self-dissatisfaction and loathing. “Yeah, no, not happening,” is her battle cry.

In this wickedly smart and entertaining book, Karbo explores how “self-improvery” evolved from the provenance of men to women. Recast as “consumers” in the 1920s, women, it turned out, could be seduced into buying anything that might improve not just their lives, but their sense of self-worth. Today, we smirk at Mad Men-era ads targeting 1950s housewives—even while savvy marketers, aided and abetted by social media “influencers,” peddle skin care “systems,” skinny tea, and regimens that promise to deliver endless happiness. We’re not simply seduced into dropping precious disposable income on empty promises; the underlying message is that we can’t possibly know what’s good for us, what we want, or who we should be. Calling BS, Karbo blows the lid off of this age-old trend and asks women to start embracing their awesomely imperfect selves.

There is no one more dangerous than a woman who doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her. Yeah, No, Not Happening is a call to arms to build a posse of dangerous women who swear off self-improvement and its peddlers. A welcome corrective to our inner-critic, Karbo’s manifesto will help women restore their sanity and reclaim their self-worth.

I have no idea what possessed me to download this audiobook. I'm not a reader of self-improvement books, so I am completely baffled. I decided to listen to it during Nonfiction November, but didn't get around to it until December. It clocks in under seven hours of listening time, so I was able to get through it quickly, but it's not one that I can recommend. Karbo claims to shun self-improvement, but this book is essentially just that. If I had been reading the print edition, I would have quit early on, but it was easy to listen as I walked, ever hopeful for a nugget or two of good advice. My advice to you? If you must, get it from your library rather than spend your money. And, be aware of an overabundance of f-bombs. I should have guessed that from the title.

I received a complimentary copy from Libro.fm. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Women Rowing North

Women Rowing North by Mary Piper
Nonfiction
2019 Bloomsbury Publishing
Finished on July 10, 2020
Rating: 2/5 (Fair)

Publisher's Blurb:

The New York Times bestseller from the author of Reviving Ophelia--a guide to wisdom, authenticity, and bliss for women as they age.

Women growing older contend with ageism, misogyny, and loss. Yet as Mary Pipher shows, most older women are deeply happy and filled with gratitude for the gifts of life. Their struggles help them grow into the authentic, empathetic, and wise people they have always wanted to be.

In Women Rowing North, Pipher offers a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face as they age. Drawing on her own experience as daughter, sister, mother, grandmother, caregiver, clinical psychologist, and cultural anthropologist, she explores ways women can cultivate resilient responses to the challenges they face. "If we can keep our wits about us, think clearly, and manage our emotions skillfully," Pipher writes, "we will experience a joyous time of our lives. If we have planned carefully and packed properly, if we have good maps and guides, the journey can be transcendent."

It's been over 25 years since I first read Mary Pipher's bestseller, Reviving Ophelia, which addresses the struggles of adolescent girls. At the time, my daughter was a preteen and I found the book informative and eye-opening, but it wasn't one I loved or kept on my shelf for a re-read. More recently, I went on to read Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders. Or should I say, attempted to read. I gave up on that book after a few chapters, finding it dull and full of repetitive anecdotes. When my book group selected Pipher's most recent work, Women Rowing North: Navigating Life's Currents and Flourishing as We Age, I thought maybe this one would suit me better than the other two and I looked forward to discussing it with my friends. I was encouraged after marking a few passages in the first chapter, but from there on, my interest waned. I read a chapter here and there, but the information wasn't illuminating and the abundant use of anecdotes became tiresome. I realized I wasn't enjoying the book when I found myself calculating how many chapters needed to be read each day in order to finish by my book group meeting. Women Rowing North is only 250 pages, so it shouldn't have taken me two weeks to complete. However, I did finish, unlike some of my fellow book group members.

So why did this book fail to elicit high praise from me? The main reason is that it didn't shed new light on issues I am facing. Although the author provides numerous stories to back up her ideas and beliefs, she tends to state the obvious. I grew bored with her message and tips on gratitude and on the need for friends to help weather life's storms and as a result, lost track of the various individuals referenced by Piper. They all blurred together and I had to flip back to earlier chapters to remind myself of who some were when a name was dropped into a paragraph three chapters later. 

I am 58 and am probably the correct target audience for the book and yet it still fell short of my expectations. The majority of readers in my book group are in their 70s and 80s and felt that they had already encountered all the issues presented by Pipher. As one reviewer stated on Goodreads, "If you’ve already figured out that exercise, healthy eating, community involvement, pursuit of a special interest and nurturing relationships with friends and families are the keys to happiness at any age, your time will be better spent in pursuing those activities than in reading this book." I couldn't agree more!

Option B

Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant
Nonfiction
2017 Alfred A. Knopf
Finished on April 1, 2020
Rating: 5/5 (Outstanding)

Publisher's Blurb:

From Facebook's COO and Wharton's top-rated professor, the #1 New York Times best-selling authors of Lean In and Originals: a powerful, inspiring, and practical book about building resilience and moving forward after life's inevitable setbacks.

After the sudden death of her husband, Sheryl Sandberg felt certain that she and her children would never feel pure joy again. "I was in 'the void, '" she writes, "a vast emptiness that fills your heart and lungs and restricts your ability to think or even breathe." Her friend Adam Grant, a psychologist at Wharton, told her there are concrete steps people can take to recover and rebound from life-shattering experiences. We are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. It is a muscle that everyone can build.

Option B combines Sheryl's personal insights with Adam's eye-opening research on finding strength in the face of adversity. Beginning with the gut-wrenching moment when she finds her husband, Dave Goldberg, collapsed on a gym floor, Sheryl opens up her heart--and her journal--to describe the acute grief and isolation she felt in the wake of his death. But Option B goes beyond Sheryl's loss to explore how a broad range of people have overcome hardships including illness, job loss, sexual assault, natural disasters, and the violence of war. Their stories reveal the capacity of the human spirit to persevere . . . and to rediscover joy.

Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. Even after the most devastating events, it is possible to grow by finding deeper meaning and gaining greater appreciation in our lives. Option B illuminates how to help others in crisis, develop compassion for ourselves, raise strong children, and create resilient families, communities, and workplaces. Many of these lessons can be applied to everyday struggles, allowing us to brave whatever lies ahead. Two weeks after losing her husband, Sheryl was preparing for a father-child activity. "I want Dave," she cried. Her friend replied, "Option A is not available," and then promised to help her make the most of Option B.

We all live some form of Option B. This book will help us all make the most of it.

I've had this book on my shelf for three years and every time I would begin to read it, some other book would distract me and I'd return it to my nightstand for another time. As most of us are feeling during the COVID pandemic, reading is not coming easily and we are too quickly distracted by the news, Facebook memes, Instagram updates, Zoom and binging on Netflix shows. From what I've read, most of my blogging friends are in the same reading slump that I'm experiencing. It wasn't until I started reading Option B that I felt I was able to concentrate on anything. This book pulled me in from the very beginning and my copy is littered with dozens of Post-It notes. I found Sandberg's voice comforting and very relatable.

Option B is not a dry "self-help" book, but one that is full of anecdotes and quotes, many of which are both wise and humorous. While the main focus is on grief, many of the inspirational stories relate to challenges we all face. Here are just a few of my favorite passages:

Grief is a demanding companion. In those early days and weeks and months, it was always there, not just below the surface but on the surface. Simmering, lingering, festering. Then, like a wave, it would rise up and pulse through me, as if it were going to tear my heart right out of my body. In those moments, I felt like I couldn't bear the pain for one more minute, much less one more hour.

and

I don't know anyone who has been handed only roses. We all encounter hardships. Some we see coming; others take us by surprise. It can be as tragic as the sudden death of a child, as heartbreaking as a relationship that unravels, or as disappointing as a dream that goes unfulfilled. The question is: When these things happen, what do we do next?

and

We plant the seeds of resilience in the ways we process negative events. After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that three P's can stunt recovery: (1) personalization -- the belief that we are at fault; (2) pervasiveness -- the belief that an event will affect all areas of our life; and (3) permanence -- the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever. The three P's play like the flip side of the pop song "Everything Is Awesome" -- "everything is awful." The loop in your head repeats, "It's my fault this is awful. My whole life is awful. And it's always going to be awful."

and

Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. It comes from gratitude for what's good in our lives and from leaning in to the suck. It comes from analyzing how we process grief and from simply accepting that grief. Sometimes we have less control than we think. Other times we have more.

As I read Option B, I not only thought of my own losses, but also of where we are today, facing uncertainty, isolated from friends and family. I found comfort in Sandberg's words and while I wish I had been able to read this book 15 years ago (when we faced the tragic loss of our oldest daughter), I am grateful for the insightful, conversation tone of the author's honest account of her own challenges. Whether facing your own grief or wondering how to help someone who is struggling with their own difficult situation, I can't recommend Option B highly enough.

The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning

The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson

Nonfiction

2018 Scribner

Finished on March 3, 2018

Rating: 1/5 (Poor)

Publisher's Blurb:

A charming, practical, and unsentimental approach to putting a home in order while reflecting on the tiny joys that make up a long life.

In Sweden there is a kind of decluttering called döstädning, dö meaning “death” and städning meaning “cleaning.” This surprising and invigorating process of clearing out unnecessary belongings can be undertaken at any age or life stage but should be done sooner than later, before others have to do it for you. In The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, artist Margareta Magnusson, with Scandinavian humor and wisdom, instructs readers to embrace minimalism. Her radical and joyous method for putting things in order helps families broach sensitive conversations, and makes the process uplifting rather than overwhelming.

Margareta suggests which possessions you can easily get rid of (unworn clothes, unwanted presents, more plates than you’d ever use) and which you might want to keep (photographs, love letters, a few of your children’s art projects). Digging into her late husband’s tool shed, and her own secret drawer of vices, Margareta introduces an element of fun to a potentially daunting task. Along the way readers get a glimpse into her life in Sweden, and also become more comfortable with the idea of letting go.

This book was such a disappointment! The writing is poor and amateurish, bordering on silly, and I didn't learn anything I didn't already know. I don't know why I bothered finishing the book as I really wanted to quit (or at least skim) almost from the very beginning. However, I pushed on and read the whole thing. I wonder if I was less than impressed because we've already downsized and Magnusson's advice is irrelevant to my own situation? Or is it that her advice is common sense? If I had to recommend one over the other, I say read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (reviewed here). That too is a bit silly ("Does this spark joy?"), but the writing is polished and her methods worked for me. Oh, and there is a Netflix Original show (Tidying Up with Mari Condo) beginning January 1st. I know I'll be tuning in!

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
Nonfiction - Self-Improvement
2015 Tantor Medio (Audio)
Read by Emily Woo Zeller
Finished on August 7, 2015
Rating: 4/5 (Very Good)




Publisher's Blurb:

This guide to decluttering your home from Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo takes readers step-by-step through her revolutionary KonMari Method for simplifying, organizing, and storing.

Despite constant efforts to declutter your home, do papers still accumulate like snowdrifts and clothes pile up like a tangled mess of noodles?

Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo takes tidying to a whole new level, promising that if you properly simplify and organize your home once, you’ll never have to do it again. Most methods advocate a room-by-room or little-by-little approach, which doom you to pick away at your piles of stuff forever. The KonMari Method, with its revolutionary category-by-category system, leads to lasting results. In fact, none of Kondo’s clients have lapsed (and she still has a three-month waiting list).

With detailed guidance for determining which items in your house “spark joy” (and which don’t), this book featuring Tokyo’s newest lifestyle phenomenon will help you clear your clutter and enjoy the unique magic of a tidy home—and the calm, motivated mindset it can inspire.

I've been an organizer since I was a very young child. Not only was my bedroom neat and tidy, but so were my brothers' rooms. Over the years, however, I've gotten less obsessive about my housework and I'm no longer as organized as I'd like. Hidden gifts and Christmas gift wrap and cards that I purchased at the end of the previous year are apt to be forgotten or overlooked for several years. My paper clutter is out of control. I can't even talk about how far behind I am with my photo albums.

Marie Kondo's slim book appealed to my inner neat-nick and after perusing it at work on more than one occasion, I decided to download the audio and see what tips I could glean from this bestseller. While she is a little out there (who thanks inanimate objects for a job well-done?!), I have to admit the book is very inspiring. I've already gone through all my clothes and recently tackled my books. As you can imagine, this was quite daunting. How in the world do I part with unread books? How do I decide which favorites to keep or toss? Going through them one-by-one (this means removing every single book from each shelf), touching every single book, makes a huge difference. I lost track of how many books I took to HalfPrice Books, but it was in the hundreds. I made a whopping $178 and still had four large grocery bags of ARCs (which can't be sold) to pass on to a friend. Now all I have on my shelves are my absolute favorites and the books I really want to read. Purging one's belongings is quite addictive and I'm actually tempted to give the closets and bookshelves another overhaul!

Final Thoughts:

"Does it spark joy?" has become my new mantra. While it may sound silly to think in these terms, it actually does work, at least with regard to reducing the junk around our house. I may not fold my clothes the way Kondo recommends, but my drawers and closets are no longer crammed full of things I no longer enjoy wearing. My bookshelves have space for photographs and cherished items, as well as all the books I still want to read. Now to tackle the basement before the neighborhood garage sale in early May. I don't own a copy of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, but eventually it might be worth a second listen, as I'm sure I'll need a refresher in a few years.

How about you? Have you jumped on the KonMari bandwagon? Have you read her new book, Spark Joy?