There Was an Old Woman by Andrea Carlisle
Nonfiction
2023
Finished on May 9, 2025
Rating: 3/5 (Good)
Publisher's Blurb:
Andrea Carlisle isn’t struggling with her new identity as the Old Woman in the ways society seems to think she should. In fact, she is finding her later years to be an extraordinary and interesting time. In trying to understand the discrepancy, she interrogates the sources of negativity in literature, art, and received wisdom that often lead women to dread this transformative time of life. Given the cultural pervasiveness of ill will toward older women, it is small wonder that growing older is not seen as a natural, even desirable, process. Although some elements of aging are hard to reckon with, there is much to make use of and delight in, along with mysteries, surprises, and revelations.
In these personal essays, Carlisle looks for new ways to bring herself more fully to this time of life, such as daily walks with other women and connecting to the natural world that surrounds her houseboat on an Oregon river at the foot of a forest. She writes about experiences shared with many, if not most, older women: wondering at her body’s transformation, discovering new talents, caregiving, facing loss, tuning in to life patterns and drawing strength through understanding them, letting go (or not) of pieces of the past, and facing other changes large and small.
Those curious about, approaching, or living in old age will find wisdom and insight in her unique perspective. In a voice that rings with clarity, humor, and humility, Carlisle shows us that old age is not another country where we can expect to find the Old Woman grimly waiting, but is instead an expansion of the borders in the country we’re most familiar with: ourselves.
At 63, I'm not quite sure I fit the demographic for this book, but nonetheless I read it for my upcoming book group discussion. Carlisle's insights on aging aren't terribly profound, and at times her essays are repetitive, and her lists of examples too lengthy. I have enjoyed many novels about aging women, but for me, this nonfiction work missed its mark. However, she includes a suggested reading list of books with an emphasis on older characters, and I wound up adding several to my TBR list.
Books about aging women that I have read and enjoyed:
Sipsworth by Simon Van Booy (4/5)
Emily, Alone by Stewart O'Nan (4.75/5)
Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout (4.5/5)
Olive, Again by Elizabeth Strout (5/5)
Winter Solstice by Rosamunde Pilcher (5/5)
Night of Miracles by Elizabeth Berg (5/5)
We Spread by Iain Reid (4.5/5)
The Swimmers by Julie Otsuka (4/5)
The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery (4.5.5)
Fellowship Point by Alice Elliot Dark (5/5)
Our Souls at Night by Kent Haruf (4.5/5)
Still Life with Breadcrumbs by Anna Quindlen (4/5)
Read, but didn't love:
Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk by Kathleen Rooney (3.5/5)
As We Are Now by May Sarton (3/5)
Two Old Women by Velma Wallis (3/5)
Books from Andrea Carlisle's suggested reading list in which I'm interested:
The Dark Flood Rises by Margaret Drabble
Smile Please by Jean Rhys (essay "My Day")
The Door by Magda Szabo
The Woman Next Door by Yewande Omotoso
Quartet in Autumn by Barbara Pym
Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont by Elizabeth Taylor
Jumping the Queue by Mary Wesley
The Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Armin
I am sorry this book was a little disappointing. I am keen on reading books about older women, and I especially like it that you included a list of books about older women that you have enjoyed plus a list of books this author recommended. I hope to read Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont this summer. I heartily recommend Enchanted April, both book and movie.
ReplyDeleteDeb, I'm going to look at my library for Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont and Enchanted April. I've put together my summer reading list, so these two will have to wait until later in the year.
DeleteI too like novels with older protagonists. You have a good list here and have read many. The Carlisle book does have a good premise about all the negativity about aging and older people ... is she in her 80s? I'd like to read The Enchanted April sometime. I will add it to my list.
ReplyDeleteSusan, I'm not sure how old she is. Maybe late 70s? I'm hoping to read The Enchanted April sometime later this year, too.
DeleteI find the attitude towards aging hard to understand. A natural progression and there is much to enjoy too (I’m 70).
ReplyDeleteMystica, I agree! I'm 63 and many of my close friends are in their late 70s and just as active as I am. I would like to think there's a little shift in the negativity toward "older" people, but maybe that's wishful thinking.
DeleteToo bad this one didn't work for you. As my parents are now in their 80s, I do find myself more interested in older characters, but I'll skip this one.
ReplyDeleteHelen, there are so many great novels on the subject. This nonfiction work just missed its mark. Most (if not all) of the women in my book group agreed with me.
DeleteI'll be book marking this post for reference on so manyb good books. I will be 69 in only 2 weeks so maybe some of what Carlisle shares will be relevant to me. That said, I have read a few of the books you listed and one I look forward to will be Winter Solstice. Maybe a goal for this winter once I am settled in the new house.
ReplyDeleteTina, the age of the women in my book group fall between the youngest being 63 (me) to the oldest being 92 (my mom). Not one of us were impressed with this book and I can honestly say that you can skip it. I'm going to put together a post with a collage of book covers that showcase my favorite books about aging women. I'm going to include nonfiction, too. Stay tuned! And I think Winter Solstice would be a great winter read!
DeleteThanks for the advice, I appreciate that. Will look forward to your post about aging women. I have had Winter Solstice on my Kindle a while and probably need to add a reminder in my planner on when to start it. It would be nice to read it after the summer.
DeleteEnchanted April is a treat. I love books set in the 1920s or '30s or '40s that were actually written in that era. Though most of the women in Enchanted April are younger. And I wouldn't call it realistic. But still -- it's a treat. Especially if the weather is bad when you're reading it.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, I vaguely recall trying to read The Enchanted April many years ago, but couldn't get into it. I'll give it another try since my reading taste has evolved over the years.
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