Celestial Lights

 

Celestial Lights by Cecile Pin

Fiction

2026

Finished on 4/9/2026

Rating: 4/5 (Very Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

A beautiful, heartbreaking novel about ambition, love, and space from the award-winning author of the Women’s Prize longlisted Wandering Souls.

January 28, 1986: Soon after launch, the Challenger shuttle falls out of the sky and into the sea. At the same time, Oliver Ines is born. Celestial Lights is his story.

Ollie spends his childhood in an English village where his bedroom is covered in glow-in-the-dark wallpaper bearing the planets and stars. Decades later, he has become one of the most renowned astronauts of his time. When an enterprising billionaire taps him to lead a landmark mission to the distant moon Europa, Ollie makes a choice that will send his whole world spinning.

As the mission advances deeper into unchartered territory, Ollie finds himself retreating into the past: his university days in London and years in the navy, relationships found and lost, becoming a husband and father. But will the world he remembers still be waiting for him when he returns?

Cecile Pin’s novel is a portrait of a complicated man whose unparalleled understanding of the universe doesn’t always translate into stellar relationships on Earth. A breathtaking tale of memory, personal choices, and the relationships that define us, Celestial Lights is an unforgettable story of fate, love, and sacrifice that questions what we owe ourselves and our loved ones when our ambitions and loyalties collide.

I was gifted Celestial Lights by Tina (Turn the Page) a few months ago. I'd not read anything by Cecile Pin, but after reading the blurb for her latest book, I was eager to give it a try. Pin is a consummate storyteller, and her writing is lyrical and informative. The narrative is interspersed with Ollie's personal flight log, which gives the reader insight into the mission to Europa, one of Jupiter's moons. I started off liking Ollie, but toward the end of the novel, I had begun feeling that he was selfish and egotistical.  I read this book at the same time as the Artemis II mission, which made it fun to think about that crew's experience, albeit much shorter than Ollie's Phoenix mission, which lasted 3,650 days.

Earth is now a pale blue smudge. Morale is good so far, but I worry what'll happen when it's no longer visible. We've had no contact with Earth for almost a year now, so having it within our sights feels like our only anchor. I often catch Shane and Lucia looking out through the round windows, as if willing it to stay, to accompany us on our ten-year journey.

The novel is divided into three parts, and the final section begins almost 2,000 days after Ollie's last journal entry. Basically, the journey home to Earth is omitted from the plot, which felt somewhat abrupt. Years have passed and relationships have altered in Ollie's absence. It's hard to imagine a mission that would take ten years, especially for those left behind.

Sometimes, when I've done my tasks for the day and Talos is quiet, I try and imagine my life had I followed her path. But then, I look out of the viewing port. I see the crescent moon and the faint shimmers of Venus and Mars. I see the deepest dark that surrounds us infinitely, awash with stars and the misty hues of nebulas, their rich purples, their vibrant reds. I see the Milky Way in all its glory, untainted by city lights, and the sun rising over Earth's atmosphere. I see them all, those celestial lights, and I know that no other path would have shown them to me.

Celestial Lights is the third space story I've read in less than a year. I didn't love it as much as Project Hail Mary, but I thought it was better than Orbital. I look forward to reading more by Cecile Pin.

A Far-flung Life

 

A Far-flung Life by M. L. Stedman

Fiction

2026

Finished on December 27, 2025

Rating: 5/5 (Outstanding!)

Release Date: March 3, 2026

Publisher's Blurb:

From the author of the acclaimed bestseller The Light Between Oceans comes a breathtaking and epic novel set in the vast outback of Australia about tragedy, family secrets, and the enduring power of love.

When we do something that can't be undone or mended, how do we go on living? How do we find our North Star when there is no right answer? These are the questions at the center of M. L. Stedman's unforgettable and magisterial new novel A Far-flung Life, a sweeping and epic story of a family, a tragedy, and the aftermath that reverberates for decades.

Remote Western Australia, 1958: here, for generations, the MacBrides have lived on a vast sheep station, Meredith Downs. It is a million acres, an ocean of arid land. On an ordinary day, on a lonely road, under the unending blue sky, patriarch Phil MacBride serves to avoid a kangaroo. In seconds the lives of the entire MacBride family are shattered. And then, tragedy revisits when a twist of consequences claims the life of one sibling and leads another to give up everything for the sake of an innocent child. Matt, the youngest MacBride, is blunged into a moral and emotional journey for which there is no map, no guide. The secrets at the heart of this gutting and beautiful story force him to choose between love and duty, sacrifice and happiness.

A Far-flung Life is a tale about family and belonging, fate and time. It is about people trying to do their best and each, for private reasons, seeking shelter from the storm of life. Can a fleeting moment unravel a whole life, mar it indelibly and irrevocably? Can compassion, resilience, and forgiveness allow us to come to terms with our human imperfections? These are the questions Stedman asks in her profoundly moving, uplifting, and luminous new novel about what the heart can endure for the sake of love.

It's been thirteen years since The Light Between Oceans was published. I received an ARC of that debut novel and gave it a perfect 5-star rating. To say that I loved it is an understatement. 

And thus, I was thrilled to receive an ARC of M. L. Stedman's new novel, and as soon as I wrapped up my Elizabeth Strout marathon, I dove right into A Far-flung Life. I couldn't have loved it more. What a remarkable story. It's one of loss, grief, love, and dark secrets. The characters are strongly defined and I ached for the MacBride family who had more than their share of heartaches. Stedman's setting is vivid, the heat and dust practically jumping off the pages.

It's hard country, out this way. Back in England, a farm might support two or three sheep per acre. Here, with the lack of rainfall, you need more like forty acres per sheep. There is heat. There is sun. But on winter nights the water in the tanks will freeze over. The searing light that coaxes life into being here will bleach it out of existence with the same indifferent shrug, leaving blanched trees, and rusted corrugated iron on the roofs of abandoned homesteads. The wind that brings the rain can bring floods and flatten shearing sheds. Everything that can do you good can also do you harm here--that's just the way of it.

This land has seen improbable things: the evolution of marsupials and monotremes; of flightless birds and animals that fly. It's seen continents split and islands arise. It's seen oceans turn to desert and desert turn to glaciers. And it's watched people drag their little lives across its surface, flat and unforgiving. 

and

In the homestead at Meredith Downs, silence is a canvas on which each sound trails like a color. The wind; a single fly; the clatter of a pan; the distant barking of a kelpie; the banging of a flywire door. There is no continuous murmur of traffic. No vague stream of voices. Each sound emerges for its solo, then fades into stillness, into a silence so complete it makes music of your heartbeat in your ears.

A Far-flung Life is a compulsively readable literary work, and I couldn't turn the pages fast enough. It will likely become a book club favorite, and it will linger in my mind for years to come. I am so pleased to have finished out the year with a 5-star read, and look forward to re-reading this beautiful gem. It's a keeper.

Highly recommend!

I received a complimentary copy from Goodreads. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Evensong

 

Evensong by Stewart O'Nan

Fiction

2025

Finished on October 27, 2025

Rating: 3/5 (Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

An intimate, moving novel that follows The Humpty Dumpty Club, a group of women of a certain age who band together to help one another and their circle of friends in Pittsburgh as they face the challenges of their golden years

The Humpty Dumpty Club is distraught when their powerhouse leader, Joan Hargrove, takes a bad fall down her stairs, knocking her out of commission. Now, as well as running errands and shepherding those less able to their doctors’ appointments, they have to pick up the slack.

Between navigating their own relationships and aging bodies and attending choir practice, these invisible yet indomitable women help where they can. They bake cookies, they care for pets, they pick up prescriptions, they sit vigil by the sick, and most of all, they show up for the people they’ve pledged to help. In the face of death, divorce, and the myriad directions our lives can take, the Humpty Dumpty club represents the power of community and chosen family.

Weaving together the perspectives of the four cardinal members as they tend to those in need, Stewart O’Nan revisits beloved characters from his past work -- most notably Emily Maxwell -- to fashion a rich and moving novel that celebrates our capacity for patience and care. Vivid, warm, and often wryly funny, Evensong reminds us that life is made up of moments both climactic and quotidian, and we weather those moments with the people we choose to keep close.

I rarely get any ARCs anymore since I no longer work in a bookstore. But every now and then I win a book from Goodreads, so I enter their giveaways whenever I see one for a book I'm eager to read. I was thrilled to win an ARC of Stewart O'Nan's new book, Evensong, setting aside another book that I had just begun in order to read O'Nan's before its publication date. I've read several of his books, some of which I loved, but others that missed the mark. When I saw that Evensong returned to Emily Maxwell's story, I was even more excited to settle in and read what I was certain would be another 5-star book. Sadly, it did not live up to my admittedly high expectations. 

I enjoyed certain aspects of Evensong, especially those told from Emily's point of view, as well as those depicting the characters' love of their pets, but much of the book was slow and dull. Some may find the backstories (or lack thereof) of a few of the characters confusing, so this may be a book that needs to be read after reading O'Nan's Maxwell trilogy (Wish You Were Here, Emily, Alone and Henry, Himself). I have always intended to read these a second time, but I now wonder if they'll be as good as I remember. 

My reviews for the books I've read of O'Nan's:

Emily, Alone (4.75/5)

Henry, Himself (5/5)

Wish You Were Here (3/5)

Ocean State (2/5)

Last Night at the Lobster (2/5)

I received a complimentary copy from Atlantic Monthly Press. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

The Trap

 

The Trap by Catherine Ryan Howard

Mystery

Narrated by John Keating and Alana Kerr Collins

2023

Finished on August 4, 2025

Rating: 3.5/5 (Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

From award-winning, internationally bestselling crime writer Catherine Ryan Howard comes The Trap: an unsettling mystery inspired by a series of still-unsolved disappearances in Ireland in the nineties, wherein one young woman risks everything to catch a faceless killer.

One year ago, Lucy's sister, Nicki, left to meet friends at a pub in Dublin and never came home. The third Irish woman to vanish inexplicably in as many years, the agony of not knowing what happened that night has turned Lucy's life into a waking nightmare. So, she's going to take matters into her own hands. 

Angela works as a civilian paper-pusher in the Missing Persons Unit, but wants nothing more than to be a fully fledged member of An Garda Síochána, the Irish police force. With the official investigation into the missing women stalled, she begins pulling on a thread that could break the case wide open -- and destroy her chances of ever joining the force. A nameless man drives through the night, his latest victim in the back seat. He's going to tell her everything, from the beginning. And soon, she'll realize: what you don't know can hurt you...

Nonlinear timelines and misdirection kept me guessing, and even shaking my head in disbelief, as the final pages drew near. This was my first read of Catherine Ryan Howard's thrillers, and it won't be my last. I enjoyed the audio narration, although the nameless abductor was creepy to listen to as he shared details of his process with one of the victims. It's been years since I've read anything by Mo Hayder, but there is something about The Trap that brought her Jack Caffery thrillers (Birdman, The Treatment, and Gone) to mind. Thankfully, this book didn't give me nightmares! 

Catherine Ryan Howard is an award-winning, no. 1 bestselling thriller writer from Cork, Ireland.

Her work has been shortlisted for the Mystery Writers of America Edgar Award for Best Novel, the UK Crime Writers Association John Creasey/New Blood and Ian Fleming Steel Dagger Awards, and the An Post Irish Crime Fiction Book of the Year multiple times. Her novels have been included in the New York Times Best Thrillers of the Year, the Washington Post’s Best Mysteries and Thrillers of the Year and the Sunday Times Best Thrillers of the Year. She is published in 20 languages and a number of her titles have been optioned for screen.

I received a complimentary copy from Libro.fm. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

So Far Gone

 

So Far Gone by Jess Walter

Fiction

Narrated by Edoardo Ballerini

2025

Finished on July 27, 2025

Rating: (4.5/5 Very Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

A reclusive journalist is suddenly thrown into a wild, suspenseful journey to rescue his kidnapped grandchildren.

A few weeks after the 2016 election, at Thanksgiving with his daughter and her belligerent new husband, Rhys Kinnick finally snapped. After an escalating fight about politics, he hauled off and punched the jerk. Immediately horrified by what he'd done, by the state of the world around him, and by his own spiraling mental health, Rhys chucked his smartphone out the car window and fled for a remote cabin in the woods of the Pacific Northwest.

Seven years later, when his grandchildren show up on his doorstep, Rhys barely recognizes them. Their mother has disappeared, and they need a safer place to stay than with their father, who has taken up with a Christian Nationalist militia. So what if Rhys’s cabin has no electricity or indoor plumbing, and the raccoons help themselves to the monthly grocery haul? He'll do whatever he needs to for these sweet kids.

But when the militia members show up and kidnap the children, Rhys realizes he'll have to re-enter the broken world. With the help of a bipolar retired detective and his caustic ex-girlfriend, Rhys reluctantly heads off on a madcap journey through the rubble of the life he left behind.

Susan, over at The Cue Card, mentioned this novel at the beginning of July, and it's one that was offered up for influencers on Libro.fm, so I quickly downloaded the audiobook. I was not disappointed. Like Susan, this was my first read by Jess Walters, and it won't be my last. I enjoyed the audio quite well, and Edoardo Ballerini does a great job with the narration. It's a difficult book to categorize, as it's partly a mystery and partly political commentary, with a madcap rescue by Rhys (who I envisioned as Christopher Lloyd) and his pals. There is violence, which when heard rather than read felt pretty intense, and I found myself cringing in response to some of the details. The novel felt like a mash-up of a Cormac O'Conner mystery (William Kent Krueger) and Kevin Wilson's hilarious Nothing to See Here. Check out Susan's spoiler-free review here, which goes into more depth about the plot. She shares the following quote, which I would have marked had I read the print edition:

As a journalist. As an American, as a rationalist, Kinnick had come to terms with the fact that 20 percent of his countrymen were greedy assholes. But then in 2016, the greedy assholes joined with the idiot assholes and the paranoid assholes in what turned out to be an unbeatable constituency. Kinnick realizing that the asshole ceiling was much higher than he’d thought, perhaps half the country. Whatever the number, it was more than he could bear. Especially when they were in his own family.

At some point, you look around, and think, I don’t belong here anymore. I don’t want to have anything to do with any of this.

Don't let the politics scare you off. So Far Gone had me laughing more than grumbling, and the raccoon scene is worth the price of the book alone! Great dialogue, well-drawn characters, excellent pacing, combined with the Pacific Northwest setting made for an entertaining listen. And as luck would have it, I actually have another novel (Beautiful Ruins) by Jess Walters on my TBR shelf. I'm looking forward to finally giving that one a read!

I received a complimentary copy from Libro.fm. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

The Poppy Fields

 

The Poppy Fields by Nikki Erlick

Fiction

Narrated by Marin Ireland and several others

2025

Finished on July 16, 2025

Rating: 2/5 (OK)

Publisher's Blurb:

From the New York Times bestselling author of the smash-hit The Measure comes a stunning speculative story of healing, self-discovery, forgiveness, and found friendship.

Welcome to the Poppy Fields, where there’s hope for even the most battered hearts to heal.

Here, in a remote stretch of the California desert, lies an experimental and controversial treatment center that allows those suffering from the heartache of loss to sleep through their pain...and keep on sleeping. After patients awaken from this prolonged state of slumber, they will finally be healed. But only if they’re willing to accept the potential shadowy side effects.

On a journey to this mystical destination are four very different strangers and one little dog: Ava, a book illustrator; Ray, a fireman; Sasha, an occupational therapist; Sky, a free spirit; and a friendly pup named PJ. As they attempt to make their way from the Midwest all the way west to the Poppy Fields—where they hope to find Ellis, its brilliant, enigmatic founder—each of their past secrets and mysterious motivations threaten to derail their voyage.

A high-concept speculative novel about heartache, hope, and human resilience, The Poppy Fields explores the path of grief and healing, a journey at once profoundly universal and unique to every person, posing the questions: How do we heal in the wake of great loss? And how far are we willing to go in order to be healed?

It's no surprise that as we grow older, we begin to lose our loved ones. In the past two decades I've had to say goodbye to my dad, stepdad, an uncle and an aunt, in addition to three cousins. Former neighbors have passed away, as well as a spouse or two of friends and coworkers. I am fortunate that none of my close friends, or siblings, have passed away, and my 92-year-old mother is still going strong! For the most part, these deaths weren't unexpected, although I'd be the first to say I'd love another decade with each and every one. However, the loss of my 24-year-old stepdaughter was the most shocking and heartbreaking death I have ever experienced. That grief was all-consuming, and not just for several weeks or months, but well over a year. (Truthfully, some say the second year is the worst year and "they" would be correct.) The sorrow my husband and I (and our younger daughter) experienced in those first few years is unimaginable. And it's not something one gets over, but rather learns to live with. 

As I listened to The Poppy Fields, I couldn't help but feel annoyed with the premise of the story. The author centers her narrative around the idea that an experimental method has been created in which a person who is grieving the loss of a loved one is able to visit the Poppy Fields in order to sleep (via a medically induced coma of sorts) through their grief. Some people stay for a month, others for up to eight weeks. The belief is that these individuals can return to their lives having moved on from their loss. Bah! This would be no different than drinking yourself into a blackout every day to numb the pain. Or curling up in a ball, sleeping all hours of the day, avoiding well-meaning friends and family. As much as we'd like a quick fix, the only way through a loss is to lean in and accept the hard truth. To do the difficult work. To embrace the sadness and loneliness. It's hard. Very hard. But it's the only way to heal, and learn to live a happy and productive life. 

I read Nikki Erlick's debut novel, The Measure, a couple of years ago and thought it was fine, but having read this recent release, I've come to the conclusion that her books are not for me. Her characters are flat, and the plots are predictable and lacking tension. Had I read the print edition rather than listening to the audio, this may have been a DNF for me.

I received a complimentary copy from Libro.fm. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

The Night We Lost Him

 

The Night We Lost Him by Laura Dave

Mystery

Narrated by Julia Whelan

2024

Finished on June 24, 2025

Rating: 2/5 (OK)

Publisher's Blurb:

Nora Noone’s father, Liam, was many things to many people. To the public he was a self-made hotel magnate, whose luxury boutique hotels were among the most coveted destinations in the world. To his three ex-wives, he was a loving yet distant family man who managed to keep his finances—and his families—separate. But to Nora, her father was always a mystery—especially after his suspicious death at his cliffside home.

Though the authorities rule Liam's death accidental, Nora and her estranged brother, Sam, believe otherwise. As they form an uneasy alliance to unpack the mystery, they start putting together the pieces of their father’s past and uncover a family secret that changes everything.

With Laura Dave’s “signature blend of pulse-pounding suspense” (PEOPLE) and “trademark emotional heft” (The New York Post), The Night We Lost Him is a “propulsive” (Oprah Daily) must-read, with a heartbreaking final twist you’ll never see coming.

Meh. I haven't read anything by Laura Dave, but decided to give her new book a try when offered an early release copy by Libro.fm. The mystery wasn't exactly compelling or propulsive, but Julia Whelan's narration kept me entertained. As others have said, the plot is flat with boring characters. I have a print edition of The Last Thing He Told Me, but I'm not inspired to give it a read anytime soon.

I received a complimentary copy from Libro.fm. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Wellness

 

Wellness by Nathan Hill

Fiction

Narrated by Ari Fliakos

2023

Finished on May 20, 2025

Rating: 3/5 (OK)

Publisher's Blurb:

From the New York Times bestselling author of The Nix, a witty and poignant new novel about marriage, middle age, tech-obsessed health culture and the bonds that keep people together.

When Jack and Elizabeth meet as college students in the '90s, the two quickly join forces and hold on tight, each eager to claim a place in Chicago's thriving underground art scene with an appreciative kindred spirit. Fast forward twenty years to married life, and alongside the challenges of parenting, they encounter cults disguised as mindfulness support groups, polyamorous would-be suitors, Facebook wars and something called Love Potion Number Nine. For the first time, Jack and Elizabeth struggle to recognize one another, and the no-longer-youthful dreamers are forced to face their demons, from unfulfilled career ambitions to painful childhood memories of their own dysfunctional families. In the process, Jack and Elizabeth must undertake separate, personal excavations, or risk losing the best thing in their lives: each other.

Moving from the gritty '90s Chicago art scene to a suburbia of detox diets and home renovation hysteria, Wellness mines the absurdities of modern technology and modern love to reveal profound, startling truths about intimacy and connection. In the follow-up to Hill's electric debut, Wellness reimagines the love story with a healthy dose of insight, irony, and heart.

I seem to be in a rut of disappointing reads. It took me over three weeks to finish listening to Wellness, which is just shy of 19 hours in length. I loved the opening chapters, enthralled by Ari Fliakos' superb narration of Nathan Hill's gorgeous prose. But the momentum began to fade somewhere around the halfway mark. The segments about Jack's father and his ignorance of Facebook's algorithms pulled me back into the story, but it wasn't long before Jack and Elizabeth's navel-gazing had my mind wandering. But I can stick with a mediocre book if the audio narrator is one that I enjoy. Had I not been listening to the audio, I would have tossed the 600+ novel across the room. Having said that, I have a print edition of The Nix, Hill's debut novel, which I was planning to read later this summer. Now I wonder if I should bother.

I received a complimentary copy from Libro.fm. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Left on Tenth: A Second Chance at Life

 

Left on Tenth: A Second Chance at Life by Delia Ephron

Nonfiction - Memoir

2022

Read by Delia Ephron

Finished on November 25, 2024

Rating: 5/5 (Excellent)

Publisher's Blurb:

The bestselling, beloved writer of romantic comedies like You've Got Mail tells her own late-in-life love story, complete with a tragic second act and joyous resolution.

Delia Ephron had struggled through several years of heartbreak. She’d lost her sister, Nora, and then her husband, Jerry, both to cancer. Several months after Jerry’s death, she decided to make one small change in her life—she shut down his landline, which crashed her internet. She ended up in Verizon hell.

She channeled her grief the best way she knew: by writing a New York Times op-ed. The piece caught the attention of Peter, a Bay Area psychiatrist, who emailed her to commiserate. Recently widowed himself, he reminded her that they had shared a few dates fifty-four years before, set up by Nora. Delia did not remember him, but after several weeks of exchanging emails and sixties folk songs, he flew east to see her. They were crazy, utterly, in love.

But this was not a rom-com: four months later she was diagnosed with AML, a fierce leukemia.

In Left on Tenth, Delia Ephron enchants as she seesaws us between tears and laughter, navigating the suicidal lows of enduring cutting-edge treatment and the giddy highs of a second chance at love. With Peter and her close girlfriends by her side, with startling clarity, warmth, and honesty about facing death, Ephron invites us to join her team of warriors and become believers ourselves.

Bravo! I have not read any of Delia Ephron's books, but I loved her films, You've Got Mail and Michael. I received an advance audio copy of Left on Tenth a couple of years ago and have finally made the time to give it a listen. Usually, I don't care for an author reading their own books, but Ephron's narration is outstanding. She drew me in to her life, and inner circle of friends and family, making me feel welcome, which in turn made me care about her struggle and recovery from leukemia. Delia's sister, Nora, died from complications of acute myeloid leukemia, the same type of cancer that Delia was fighting. Delia goes into great detail of her grueling treatment, but not once is it repetitive or boring. She shares sweet stories about her lovely new husband, Peter, and sprinkles humor throughout her memoir. I never felt that she was keeping her readers at arm's length, but rather created an intimate room for us to visit. I loved her conversational delivery, her authenticity, and her complete lack of pretension; if there was any name-dropping, it was never a distraction. 

On Friendship:

All these different friendships. Mine with Eugene is both business and personal. These bonds matter. They are little homes. Places of safety. I am taking stock now. Friendship. God, I love my friends.

On Grief:

 The silence in the apartment is loud.

On Love:

And one single thing about all this: We were both seventy-two and age meant nothing. We were getting as loopy, as obsessed with each other as anyone falling under the spell of romance.

On Dogs:

Dogs dig deep into your heart. They’re in the room, on the floor, in your lap, on the bed, pestering you for treats, chewing your sock, burrowing under sheets, making you laugh, following you about, eating the cheese you left on the table, tearing in wild happy circles after baths. They trust. They are innocence. They are unjudgmental observers of your every unguarded moment.

As much as I loved this audiobook, I would like to own a print edition for a second reading. Highly recommend!

I received a complimentary copy from Libro.fm. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

The Brave In-Between

 

Update: Amy Low passed away peacefully, surrounded by family, on Wednesday, November 27, 2024.

The Brave In-Between: Notes from the Last Room by Amy Low

Nonfiction - Memoir

2024

Finished on November 13, 2024

Rating: 4/5 (Very Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

Lessons and advice on navigating uncertainty while battling stage four cancer after divorce in midlife.

Amy Low resides in a room that is her last. Her medical team is clear-eyed with her: there is no cure for Stage IV metastatic colon cancer, and the odds of long-term survival are scant. Miraculously, she’s lived four years with her diagnosis, and that life between life has changed her.

Through the swirl of prolonged trauma and unbearable grief, a vantage point emerged—a window that showed her the way to relish life and be kinder to herself and others while living through the inevitable loss and heartbreak that crosses everyone’s paths. Instead of viewing joy and sorrow as opposites, she saw how both exist in harmony, full of mystery and surprise. Instead of seeing days as succeeding or failing, and physical selves as healthy or unwell, she’s learned to carry both achievements and afflictions in stride. And instead of bitterness and betrayal, forgiveness—toward her body, toward others, toward herself—became her wisest light.

Mapping her experiences to the words that St. Paul wrote in his own last room, The Brave In-Between is a sacred invitation to explore that space between triumph and tragedy. We all have a heart to marvel at miracles, a lightness to spot the absurdity, and an imagination to pause and extend empathy for others—even when tragedy strikes. Sometimes we just need a guide.

"Lessons and advice on navigating uncertainty while battling stage four cancer after divorce in midlife." Gee. Sounds like an entertaining book, doesn't it? I'm not sure why I'm drawn to stories about people battling diseases, but as I glance at my "memoir" shelf on Goodreads, there are a few. (Coincidentally, I was listening to another book, while reading this one, in which the author is dealing with the loss of her husband and leukemia.)

As with my previous read, You Could Make This a Beautiful Place, Amy Low's memoir resonates on many levels: divorce and co-parenting with an ex-spouse, Covid lockdown and Zoom, the upsetting election of 2016, etc. It's not simply a cancer story.

On hope:

Growing up in San Diego and rooting for the Padres, my brother and sister and I knew a little something about hope. We'd earned PhDs in hope. Most years, the Padres were out of contention by Mother's Day, but still we scrambled to get to games, pinning all of our dreams on Tony Gwynn* and remembering that miracles had a way of showing up despite it all. With a stirring in our hearts, we'd sit in the cheap seats, so high I thought we were closer to touching the moon than the field. What might happen?

Cancer is everywhere. I have friends and relatives currently battling this awful disease. I also know survivors. My younger brother was diagnosed with colon cancer at the age of 40. He is now 60 and cancer-free. So, to jump on my soap box--get your screenings, especially colonoscopies and mammograms. Cancer treatments have advanced, along with new technologies such as immunotherapy and target drugs. Early detection is critical!

Part medical narrative, part spirituality and philosophy, The Brave In-Between is both heartbreaking and uplifting. Recommend.

You can follow Amy Low on Instagram and Substack (Postcards from the Mountain).

*Sadly, Tony Gwynn died from complications of cancer of the salivary gland at the age of 54. 

Tilt

 

Tilt by Emma Pattee

Fiction

2025 (Due out on March 4, 2025)

Finished on October 10, 2024

Rating: 4/5 (Very Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

Set over the course of one day, a heart-racing debut about a woman facing the unimaginable, determined to find safety.

Last night, you and I were safe. Last night, in another universe, your father and I stood fighting in the kitchen.

Annie is nine months pregnant and shopping for a crib at IKEA when a massive earthquake hits Portland, Oregon. With no way to reach her husband, no phone or money, and a city left in chaos, there’s nothing to do but walk.

Making her way across the wreckage of Portland, Annie experiences human desperation and strangers offering help, a riot at a grocery store, and an unlikely friendship with a young mother. As she walks, Annie reflects on her struggling marriage, her disappointing career, and her anxiety about having a baby. If she can just make it home, she’s determined to change her life.

A propulsive debut, Tilt is a primal scream of a novel about the disappointments and desires we all carry, and what each of us will do for the people we love.

Emma Pattee's slim novel is easily read in a single day. We were on our 5-week Grand Teton road trip when I picked up my ARC of Tilt, and as much as I would have liked to have read it in one fell swoop, other interests and activities begged for my attention. But even without the distractions of the beautiful scenery, hikes to stunning viewpoints, and moose encounters, I'm not sure I'd want to read this story so quickly. Pattee's prose is poetic, yet not overly so, and I found myself re-reading her beautiful passages as I held my breath in anticipation of what Annie was experiencing in Portland, Oregon.

I grew up in Central and Southern California, and while not a regular occurence, earthquakes were not completely unheard of. I remember several in which I either jumped from wherever I was sitting to run to stand in a door frame, or awoke from a deep sleep, wondering why my husband was tossing and turning so violently. There was even one instance in which I thought somebody was trying to break into our house. The front door was loudly rattling and it wasn't until I saw the light fixture swaying in the dining room (and my young daughter screaming, "Make it stop!" as she ran down the stairs from her bedroom) that I realized it was an earthquake and not an intruder. 

And yet, until my husband and I moved to the Oregon Coast, we didn't give earthquakes much thought. Like any natural disaster, you could only do so much ahead of time. We moved from San Diego to Nebraska and became very familiar with tornadoes and severe thunderstorm watches and warnings. But in Oregon, we were quickly informed of THE BIG ONE! We live on the Cascadia subduction zone, which stretches from Northern Vancouver Island to Cape Mendocino California, and will eventually wreak havoc on communities up and down the faultline, most likely with a magnitude 9.0 or greater. 

Like Annie and Dom, my husband and I have attended seminars and meetings on how to prepare for such a catastrophic earthquake. We have a "Go Bag" ready for the event in one of our cars. (Why don't we have one in both?!) We have stored gallons upon gallons of drinking water in our house and garage. We have not just two but three power stations (to recharge phones and other electronics, which will most likely not be of any use since the cell towers will be down), a gasoline generator (which is great until we run out of fuel), cash (vendors won't be able to process credit or ATM cards), and a couple of LifeStraws for water purification. There's still a lot we should/need to do, but it does get overwhelming. And, we live in a forest, surrounded by HUGE trees. Oh, and we're on the coast. We'll be lucky to survive the 100 foot tidal wave or falling trees.  

This is all to say that Tilt scared the crap out of me. Annie lost her purse in IKEA during the earthquake. She lost her phone. 

Every couple of minutes, I check my pockets for my phone. I can't help it. It's like a phantom limbl

Without a phone, I'm like an animal without legs. You have to understand about people my age is that we got phones before we had sex, we got phones before we got credit cards, before we started therapy, before we started drinking beer and cofffee and two-for-one margaritas at the shitty bar down the street. I learned to drive by following the glowing blue arrow wherever it took me.

How comforting it would be right now to trace my finger along a line of blue dots. To get an ETA. Something to press on, a screen to light up. To feel that I am connected to someone, somewhere, not just a lone body miles from home, jerking forward step by step under the sun.

Even if she had a "Go Bag" with water and food in her car, she wouldn't be able to retrieve it from the crushed vehicle. Annie encounters impassable roads and bridges. There are two bridges between us and the two closest towns. Those will be gone. We'll be stranded for weeks, if not months, before help arrives. Or I may be in town shopping and have to walk home to my family, just as Annie attempts to do, hoping to reunite with her husband. 

The last known megathrust earthquake in the northwest was in January, 1700, just over 300 years ago. Geological evidence indicates that such great earthquakes have occurred at least seven times in the last 3,500 years, a return interval of 400 to 600 years. (Pacific Northwest Seismic Network)

Maybe we'll get lucky and this won't happen in our lifetime. But to quote the geologist from Annie & Dom's seminar, "The worst day to prepare for an earthquake is the day the earthquake hits." 

Tilt is an intense read. I felt anxious and worried for Annie (and her unborn child, "Bean") the entire time I was reading. This story will stay with me a long time. Emma Pattee has written an impressive debut novel. Recommend (but maybe not to my local book group).

Flying Solo

 

Flying Solo by Linda Holmes

Fiction

2022

Narrated by Julia Whalen

Finished on June 29, 2024

Rating: 3.5/5 (Pretty Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

A woman returns to her small Maine hometown, uncovering family secrets that take her on a journey of self-discovery and new love, in this warm and charming novel from the New York Times bestselling author of Evvie Drake Starts Over.

Smarting from her recently cancelled wedding and about to turn forty, Laurie Sassalyn returns to her Maine hometown of Calcasset to handle the estate of her great-aunt Dot, a spirited adventurer who lived to be ninety. Along with boxes of Polaroids and pottery, a mysterious wooden duck shows up at the bottom of a cedar chest. Laurie's curiosity is piqued, especially after she finds a love letter to the never-married Dot that ends with the line, "And anyway, if you're ever desperate, there are always ducks, darling."

Laurie is told that the duck has no financial value. But after it disappears under suspicious circumstances, she feels compelled to figure out why anyone would steal a wooden duck--and why Dot kept it hidden away in the first place. Suddenly Laurie finds herself swept up in a righteous caper that has her negotiating with antiques dealers and con artists, going on after-hours dates at the local library, and reconnecting with her oldest friend and first love. Desperate to uncover her great-aunt's secrets, Laurie must reckon with her past, her future, and ultimately embrace her own vision of flying solo.

I enjoyed this light-hearted novel by Linda Holmes a little bit better than her debut, Evvie Drake Starts Over. Flying Solo is not one that would have held my interest had I read the print edition, but the audiobook, narrated by the wonderful Julia Whalen, was just what I needed to pass the time on my daily walks. Leaning more toward romance than general fiction, it's not my favorite genre, but Whalen kept me entertained, and even had me laughing out loud at some of Laurie's dialogue.

I received a complimentary copy from Libro.fm. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Meredith, Alone

 

Meredith, Alone by Claire Alexander

Fiction

2022

Narrated by Freya Mavor

Finished on June 17, 2024

Rating: 4/5 (Very Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

Meredith Maggs has everything a person needs.

A best friend in Sadie.

A beloved cat in Fred.

Jigsaws to fill the time.

Recipes to perfect.

Even a weekly visit from the Tesco delivery guy.

So what if she hasn't left the house in 1,214 days? That her memories are treacherous, and it's getting harder to ignore the estranged sister knocking at her door.

How long can one woman keep the world out?

How long before she invites in what's out there?

And how long does it take to discover the person you were meant to be?

I really enjoyed this novel! At the heart of the story are Meredith and her sister, Fiona. Raised by a single mother who is incapable of love, throwing verbal abuse their way at every opportunity, both sisters are eager to leave home as soon as possible. Surprisingly, Meredith's awful childhood and upbringing isn't the source of her agoraphobia, although it isn't difficult to discern the cause, given several clues in the early chapters of the book.

Meredith is such a likeable, well-drawn character. I came to care about her, as well as her new friends, Tom and Celeste, who not only give her emotional support and confidence to overcome her situation, but also unconditional love, which she is so desperately in need of. The story's conclusion is not predictable or sappy, but ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Fans of Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine are sure to enjoy this satisfying, character-driven story. And the audiobook is outstanding! I was eager to listen at every chance I had, and I fell in love with the narration by Freya Mavor, a Scottish actor with whom I'm not familiar. I look forward to Claire Alexander's second novel, which is due out in 2025. 

Recommend! 

I received a complimentary copy from Libro.fm. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Demon Copperhead

 

Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver

Fiction

2022

Finished on April 12, 2024

Rating: 5/5 (Outstanding!)

Publisher's Blurb:

Set in the mountains of southern Appalachia, this is the story of a boy born to a teenaged single mother in a single-wide trailer, with no assets beyond his dead father's good looks and copper-colored hair, a caustic wit, and a fierce talent for survival. In a plot that never pauses for breath, relayed in his own unsparing voice, he braves the modern perils of foster care, child labor, derelict schools, athletic success, addiction, disastrous loves, and crushing losses. Through all of it, he reckons with his own invisibility in a popular culture where even the superheroes have abandoned rural people in favor of cities.

Many generations ago, Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield from his experience as a survivor of institutional poverty and its damages to children in his society. Those problems have yet to be solved in ours. Dickens is not a prerequisite for readers of this novel, but he provided its inspiration. In transposing a Victorian epic novel to the contemporary American South, Barbara Kingsolver enlists Dickens' anger and compassion, and above all, his faith in the transformative powers of a good story. Demon Copperhead speaks for a new generation of lost boys, and all those born into beautiful, cursed places they can't imagine leaving behind.

I received an ARC of Demon Copperhead in 2022. The size of Barbara Kingsolver's latest novel, as well as the subject matter, made me hesitant to pick it up. I loaned the book to my mom, who told me she hated it. I loaned it to my husband, who gave up after reading a dozen or so chapters. So, it continued to languish on my nightstand, in spite of my affection for Kingsolver's books. I have read all of her novels (with the exception of The Lacuna), and many are on my list for re-reading (Flight Behavior, The Poisonwood Bible, Pigs in Heaven), so why was I so reticent to start this particular book? I'm sure I would have eventually picked it up, but when my book club selected it for our June discussion, that was nudge I needed. Realizing that it would take me a couple of weeks to read, I decided to start before our RV trip to California, knowing I would have several days of uninterrupted reading once we were on the road. Little did I know that this book would consume my waking thoughts and dreams for the next two weeks. 

I love that Kingsolver tells this tale exclusively from Demon's point of view. I quickly came to care about this resilient young boy, heartbroken over the terrible cards that were dealt to him, his mother, and many of the folks in his life. The situations that claim Demon's innocence, as well as the fragmented sentences which make up the early dialogue in the novel, held me in thrall. With each new turn of events, I couldn't help but wonder if life would ever improve for Demon. Even when it looked like he had finally found a good family situation, I worried about the other shoe falling, forcing him back out on his own, struggling to survive the cruelties of society.

I know this must be a difficult (if not impossible) read for anyone touched by the opioid crisis, and I have to admit that there were times when I didn't think I could continue reading. But Kingsolver's prose, while at times perhaps heavy-handed, never felt didactic or gratuitous. She has written an engrossing and important story, which is not merely entertainment, but rather sheds light on a serious societal problem. For this reason, the Pulitzer Prize is well-deserved. I'm eager to hear how others in my book club felt about the book and anticipate a thought-provoking discussion.

I hadn't considered reading David Copperfield before picking up Demon Copperhead, but now I'm curious to give the former a read in order to find the connections between the two stories. I'm also interested in watching Dopesick, which I understand to be an excellent series.

Passages of note:

I made my peace with the place, but never went a day without feeling around for things that weren't there, the way your tongue pushes into the holes where you've lost teeth. I don't just mean cows, or trees, it runs deeper. Weather, for instance. Air, the way it smells from having living things breathing into it, grass and trees and I don't know what, creatures of the soil. Sounds I missed most of all. There was noise, but nothing behind it. I couldn't get used to the blankness where there should have been bird gossip morning and evening, crickets at night, the buzz saw of cicadas in August. A rooster always sounding off somewhere, even dead in the middle of Jonesville. It's like the movie background music. Notice it or don't but if the volume goes out, the movie has no heart. I'd oftentimes have to stop and ask myself what season it was. I never realized what was holding me to my place on the planet of earth: that soundtrack. That, and leaf colors and what's blooming in the roadside ditches this week, wild sweet peas or purple ironweed or goldenrod. And stars. A sky as dark as sleep, not this hazy pinkish business, I'm saying blind man's black. For a lot of us, that's medicine. Required for the daily reboot. (Demon's thoughts on living in a city.)

and

"Certain pitiful souls around here see whiteness as their last asset that hasn’t been totaled or repossessed."

and

“It’s not something to fix,” he said. “It means strong. Outside of all expectation.” I looked at him. He looked at me. His hands were on his desk with the fingers touching, a tiny cage with air inside. Black hands. The knuckles almost blue-black. Silver wedding ring. He said, “You know, sometimes you hear about these miracles, where a car gets completely mangled in a wreck. But then the driver walks out of it alive? I’m saying you are that driver.”

An affecting and memorable coming-of-age tale which I doubt will ever leave me. Highly recommend!

Novelists like Kingsolver have a particular knack for making us empathize with lives that may bear little resemblance to our own. ~ Salon

Spoiler Alert: 

I was pleased with the hopeful ending...

Damnation Spring

 

Damnation Spring by Ash Davidson

Fiction

2021 Scribner

Finished on November 3, 2023

Rating: 4/5 (Very Good)

Publisher's Blurb:

A stunning novel about love, work, and marriage that asks how far one family and one community will go to protect their future.

Colleen and Rich Gundersen are raising their young son, Chub, on the rugged California coast. It’s 1977, and life in this Pacific Northwest logging town isn’t what it used to be. For generations, the community has lived and breathed timber; now that way of life is threatened.

Colleen is an amateur midwife. Rich is a tree-topper. It’s a dangerous job that requires him to scale trees hundreds of feet tall—a job that both his father and grandfather died doing. Colleen and Rich want a better life for their son—and they take steps to assure their future. Rich secretly spends their savings on a swath of ancient Redwoods. Colleen, desperate to have a second baby, challenges the logging company’s use of herbicides that she believes are responsible for the many miscarriages in the community—including her own. Colleen and Rich find themselves on opposite sides of a budding conflict that threatens the very thing they are trying to protect: their family.

Told in prose as clear as a spring-fed creek, Damnation Spring is an intimate, compassionate portrait of a family whose bonds are tested and a community clinging to a vanishing way of life. An extraordinary story of the transcendent, enduring power of love—between husband and wife, mother and child, and longtime neighbors. An essential novel for our times.

I read Damnation Spring in mid-2022 and thought it was outstanding. I enjoyed the story and writing so much that I decided to recommend it to my book group, and we are discussing it later this month. I wish I could say that I loved it as much the second time around, but it didn't pull me in until about halfway in. Maybe it was simply too soon for a full reread. I dropped my original 5-star rating down to 4 stars.

I won't repost my original thoughts about the book, since that review is pretty long, but you can find it here.